I guess nowadays it would be more appropriate to insert the surname Kardashian instead of Jones, but you get the point.
The idea of comparing yourself to others is not new. In fact, the idiom of keeping up with the social standards of those around you originated in the early 1900’s! Individuals have always compared themselves to others they perceive as more successful, happy, trendy, privileged, funny, or beautiful. However, it’s time we stop. We must stop feeling inferior to, worthless of, and jealous of others and begin to love ourselves instead.
Trust me I know that’s easier said than done. Every time you log on to your social media the photographs and announcements of budding relationships, babies, engagements, weddings, new homes, and great jobs are abundant. It’s enough to make you sit and think, why can’t that be me? But the second you start comparing yourself to what others around you are doing you lose a little bit of yourself. Comparisons damage your self esteem, your sense of self worth, and your self love. Comparisons downplay every accomplishment [big or small] you have done throughout your life. Why are you allowing the lives of others hold that kind of power over your own?
So how do you do it? How do you stop comparing the achievements of others to those you have done? How do diminish that voice in your head saying you aren’t enough? How can you live your life on your own terms and be truly, and genuinely, happy with who have come to be? While there is no easy fix, the best way to start is to practice mindfulness, positive affirmations, and forgiveness.
Practicing mindfulness and being aware of when are you putting yourself down is crucial. Recognize the feelings of sadness or jealousy, recognize when you feel the pressure to act, dress, perform, or say things in a certain way, and most importantly recognize and reflect on why you may be feeling that way. Self-reflection allows you to understand what parts of yourself you aren’t satisfied with in order to come up a new solution, game plan, or goal for what to do differently. Use positive affirmations. Take every opportunity to give yourself praise. Be proud of who you are, embrace the quirks and the traits that make you…you! When you love yourself, your ability to love others, your ability to cope with difficulties, and your ability to live up to your own potential is strengthened. Lastly, forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone experiences setbacks, and everyone feels embarrassment, resentment, sadness, or guilt at one time or another. We’re human. Stop blaming yourself for not leading the same life as someone you look up to. It won’t solve your problems, it won’t change your life, and it won’t make you happy. Forgive, move forward, and live the life you want on your own terms.
So SCREW THE JONESES! You are given one life in this world, why waste it wishing you were living another one? When you begin to love yourself, everything else will fall into place.
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world” — Lucille Ball
“Self respect, self worth, and self love all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value” — Rob Liano
“Don’t forget to fall in love yourself first” — Carrie Bradshaw
[fi-lis-i-tee] 